Zingers (bizzare news stories)

Resourceful Woman Attempts to Kill Husband with Vagina Poison

poison hoo hoo

While I realize that I’m not in a position to give you unsolicited relationship advice, I am going to go ahead and do it anyway. If you ever find yourself thinking that you might want to kill your significant other, first and foremost, don’t do it. Take some time, cool your head, go get help. Murder is almost always the wrong answer. But secondly, if you decide to proceed (which again, please don’t), do not fill your vagina with poison and then invite your partner to go down on you no matter how much that murder plot sounds like it could be turned into an awesome Prince song.

See, it doesn’t end well! Sure, it sounds like something out of your favorite B-movie or Game of Thrones — “I’ve heard it said that poison is a woman’s weapon” — but in practice, poisoning someone through your vagina is not that good of an idea. Not only are you potentially ending a person’s life, but you’re also fucking up your own plumbing in the process. Now let’s close with a little Bel Biv Devoe. Situation is serious.



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